'Tis proof I've not been distracting enough, it seems. [ Viktor replies in a voice of spun sugar, light and silly sweet, carrying little real concern. Of course Emet-Selch's mind would race whatever he were doing - that part is not so surprising. Viktor watches though, like a cat following the fluttering of bug's wings in sunlight. With his head angled so awkwardly, with eyes half-lidded, he studies every minute change on Hades's expression. Not quite worried, but wondering.
He lacks Aepymetes's clairvoyance, and simpler than that, he lacks ages of insight both his predecessor and Hythlodaeus had. Surely the two of them could tease out the tangles of Emet-Selch's mind before they were even snags. He finds himself a little unprepared to take the reins, but inexperience has never stopped Viktor before - certainly not from trying to tackle something that mattered. His fingertips stop in their spin of idle lines in Emet-Selch's hair so that he can flatten his palm clumsily against Emet-Selch's cheek. Then, Viktor sighs. ]
Stop thinking about tomorrow for a minute. [ He angles his chin down only just, butting his forehead against the side of Emet-Selch's face, and letting the contact linger. ] Stop thinking about what might could be, what was. For a minute. Indulge me once more, here, now, and t-tell me, how are you feeling? What weighs on your mind?
At the risk of putting further ideas between those furry ears, I am not certain you could be any more distracting.
[ Viktor's busied himself with Emet-Selch's hands and he's allowed it - allowed, like he hasn't been basking in the warmth of Viktor's touch and gaze, a lazy cat in an unending sunbeam. To have him stop now, and try to get Emet-Selch's attention is distraction, but instead of annoyed there's the briefest fissure of guilt. Life was easier when he forgot what guilt felt like. ]
How am I feeling? [ He repeats, a little incredulous before he tempers his tone to something a little less incredulous. It's a valid question. He knows why Viktor is asking. He can be present now instead of in the past, or in a future that has not even been won yet. His chin hooks over Viktor's shoulder, a breath inhaled and sighed out, chest rising and falling dramatically. ] Like I could sleep a dozen years or so, wake, and sleep a dozen more.
[ He nips at Viktor's shoulder, empty glass set aside and begins to rise up and grasp soap to begin the process of being one step closer to crawling into bed. ]
It has been an age, but I can promise you I am not some virginal creature who now needs gentle handling after being tupped. [ Another pause, glancing at Viktor. ] Nor should you fear I will wake in the morning aghast at my lack of control.
[ One long, damp ear twitches. Several ideas spring to mind right away; given the tools and the time, Viktor thinks he could quite handily make himself a more delectable (or intolerable, depending on his mood) sort of bother. Were he greedier, he might plot it, but that's a project for another time. A time when his muscles don't feel like so much stretched taffy, when a warm bath, mulled wine, and Hades's embrace aren't the most satisfying things in the world -- as though that were a thing that could ever come to pass.
Viktor's fingers skim the outer shell of Emet-Selch's ear while he speaks, pointer finger down and around, then middle finger back up, repeating the process again and again, thoughtless repetition. ]
Well. I hope you can settle for a world where we can sleep a dozen hours, then wake, s-see to things for a bit, and sleep a dozen more. That's the one I've been working toward, at least. And 'twould be a pain in my arse to change plans n-now.
[ A soft snicker escapes him at the feel of Hades's teeth on his skin again. In the next breath, Emet-Selch, of course, effortlessly pinpoints what has always been the heart of Viktor's fears, but when Viktor looks at it now, that everpresent threat of abandonment doesn't loom quite so large. When he watches Hades rise up partway to grab soap, he cannot help but note just how absent that worry is. No, where biting cold should be, there is only certainty - that there will always be love between them, that Hades will ever answer, should he call. ]
Aye. I know. But even the strapping lads that worked Limsa's docks like a sweet word and a bit of care from time to time, you know. I do not coddle you, because you do not n-need to be coddled. [ He reaches for Emet-Selch's hand as he stretches, fingers closing around his wrist. ] Let me.
[ Viktor's fingers tickle. It's the strangest awareness to have - the idea that certainly no one had ever been foolish enough to attempt to do something like that to him, and the fact that Viktor wasn't doing it intentionally. He was, as far as Emet-Selch could tell, simply fascinated by the normalcy of curved ears. More than that - Emet-Selch doesn't expect the way just the faintest brush of warmth over his ears seems to have a direct line to the coals stoked in his belly; he'd thought himself exhausted but were Viktor to keep that up too much longer he might reconsider the benefits of tumbling Viktor again. They could manage in the bath.
This is, of course, the danger he'd feared. Too indulgent, all the years of work putting up the barriers necessary to achieve their great work tumbled down in the span of a few years by Viktor. Maddening. ]
This new world you envision must have more bells in a day than we currently have.
[ There is something to be said for the ease of sleeping for ages, though. While mortals cannot manage such a thing, Emet-Selch thinks that it would not be so terrible to try to get as close to such a thing as was possible. He thinks to argue, to be contrary, like it's built into his very aether, this inability to let this go, to allow Viktor the same indulgences he would have allowed Hythlodaeus and Aepymetes without a second thought ages prior. The rubble Vitkor must manage to make his way through after crashing that wall down, he thinks wryly, and hands over both the soap and washcloth with a sigh. ]
Only because arguing further would delay us retiring to bed and I am very much looking forward to what little sleep we will manage to grasp tonight.
[ Viktor is, admittedly, surprised to find soap and cloth both held out in offering. Welcome, to be sure, but unusual that Emet-Selch should relent without the two of them dancing their way right up to the cliff's edge of an argument. He takes the soap and cloth with expression carefully schooled to neutrality - not even an arch of his brows, and even his ears, blessedly, obey him this time. ]
No. [ Viktor chirrups, soft, as he works up a lather between his hands. He allows a grin to twitch across his features as he elaborates. ] We just work extra hard during those hours we are a-w-wake.
[ Almost too quick to track his movements, he repositions. Knees bent, body up and turned, then deposited back in front of Emet-Selch again, facing him now, though his attention stays mostly on the wash cloth. Emet-Selch's soaps are rich, decadent things, full of deep, delicate scent, made unignorable when worked up into a foam like this.
It reminds Viktor of their morning lessons, of Crystarium meetings where they'd find themselves sat together, of those brief moments, ages ago, when a much less kind Emet-Selch would nevertheless permit a much more foolish Viktor to get close enough to ask a question. Always subtle, then. Placed directly under his nose, now, it's shocking just how many memories the scent evokes. Not all of them good, certainly, but proof of lives intertwined for far longer than Viktor had realized. ]
Come now, sometimes it is f-fun to make bad choices. You'd've been up in bed trying to r-read all this time, anyway, had we not- [ His voice goes soft. The words that escape him are tentative, fond. ] -gotten ourselves distracted.
[ He glances up, meeting Emet-Selch's eye, and leans in. With a gentle press of fingers to Emet-Selch's jaw, Viktor tips his head back and sets to cleaning, starting at his neck and washing up to his chin with the sort of focused intensity he usually reserves for battle. Were Viktor a painter, he would obsess for ages over the way beads of sudsy water drip lines down Hades's skin. He will settle, instead, for simply watching them fall as he bobs closer to swipe the wash cloth over the back of Emet-Selch's neck. ]
What lesson have you in mind, then, that we cannot steal a bell's extra sleep?
[ The lack of reaction is its own tell; he's dealt with too many iterations of Azem, too many people in general not to recognize the stern attempt at nonchalance. Like he's a child with a scraped leg who must be lied to and told the injury is minimal to keep from being upset.
That is uncharitable. Emet-Selch swallows back anything he could say that would be misconstrued and presents himself with minimal fuss for Viktor's attention. Viktor dotes, he does not smother, does not parent. Emet-Selch could, he thinks, give a little grace when he has been offered so much. That doesn't make him any more comfortable, though. ]
Reading, I find, is generally a much less strenuous activity.
[ Viktor is doting, he is indulging himself, Emet-Selch reminds as Viktor takes his sweet time with what could very easily be a few moment process. He lingers, not so much washing as he is running the cloth over skin idly and watching water drip.
A version of him from a few years ago would have found this functionally unbearable. Not just being touched, not just the bare skin, not just the fact it was someone sundered - even if they were Azem - but the unearned experience of being spoiled would have turned his stomach. Now, he can at least recognize the feeling for what it is and squash it under his metaphorical boot, forcibly leaning into Viktor to savor the press of wet, bare skin.
A fresh glass of steaming mulled wine appears in hand, tilting his head just enough to be able to take a long pull from the teacup. ]
Am I to conjure another glass, or are you finished for the evening? [ A pause, then a slow confession, like the thought just occurred to him, and he's too tired to weigh whether or not he ought to give voice to the thought. ] There were evenings when I was - where I allowed my mind to wander. To consider a potential thread where one evening, you tired of calling back and forth to each other from floors apart. You would come up the stairs - disposing of your clothes on the steps up, of course, threatening to break one or both our necks in so doing - and join me in the bath.
[ A pause, a smirk over the rim of his teacup, a little levity in his tone under all the faux-condescension. ]
[ Hades wars with himself again. Viktor can feel it, in their mingled aether, in the storm cloud that seems to settle over him. Distraction had afforded his mind a brief ceasefire, but a thousand, thousand years of duty and disgust will not be conquered so easily. And so, Viktor focuses on washing, first up and behind his ears - which he finds plainly fascinating, and does not bother to hide the smirk that spreads across his face as he works - then down each arm, to his fingers, scrubbing diligently, allowing himself the distraction of working knots out of muscles with his fingers - as much a massage as actual cleaning. ]
Ah! Better for the heart, to get worked up from time to time. And roughly twice as fun, I reckon, depending on the b-book. [ He cuts his gaze up as he drags the washcloth over Emet-Selch's clavicles, his pleasant smile breaking with a snort of laughter into an impish grin. ] If you miss it s-so much, the next time you find your head between my legs, mayhap I'll try my hand at reading to you while you work.
[ Surprise writes itself across his features when Emet-Selch presses closer. He falls silent, wraps his arms around Emet-Selch's back to clean there, and indulges in leaving a line of gentle, lingering kisses from the edge of one shoulder, down the length of Hades's clavicle as he works. It will take ages to memorize the shape of him as much as he'd like - he does not intend to waste any opportunity to study. Not ever again.
Viktor leans back only once a question has been asked of him, and does not answer right away. He watches, listens, and most importantly tries not to let that sinful little smirk, the sharp fireplace crackle of Hades' voice reignite the embers banked in his own belly. It feels a little like a limb that's fallen asleep, fine when it is numb and nothing, startlingly sharp when it starts to come to life again. And almost frightening, how readily desire sparks in him. Like there is something hanging just outside of view, waiting to call down retribution if he wants too much in too short a time - something that will take Hades from him. And stars, he does not know how his heart would manage that.
And yet, in spite of his fear, it is all too easy to get tangled up in Emet-Selch's little fantasy - to know that he, too, had daydreamed of their bodies pressed together long before it had been a possibility. Viktor thinks of discarded clothes, of that cramped little bath, clouded with steam, surrounded by leaves and vines. Heavens, he cannot wait to be home again, to scamper up to their little tub and press even closer for lack of extra legroom. That Viktor had posed his own question, that it sits unanswered still, goes wholly forgotten.
A breathy laugh escapes him, and on its tails, the start of an admission, ]
I thought-
[ He carries himself over each sound with too much care, but catches himself, sounding like a child being scolded, and after a breath, soldiers on with more confidence. ]
'Twas my belief that your baths were meant to give you p-privacy. At best, that you needed the distance. And I've less than no interest in... imposing myself upon someone who does not want me. However- [ Viktor leaves the wash cloth floating in the water, sloshes forward, mindful of Emet-Selch's tea cup, to drape both arms over his shoulders. ] -I fear you will know very little peace, going forward. I may have f-failed in a quick surprise, but I can more than make up for it with a slow descent into madness.
[ Viktor kisses him, once, twice, three times, achingly light brushes of lips along his jaw, up to his mouth. Grin renewed, against Emet-Selch's lips, he murmurs. ]
Conjure me a chamomile tea, or I fear I will have you awake 'til our lessons would've begun, anyway.
[ He doesn't know the last time he let someone know him. Properly. To have done it now - somewhat unintentionally, is only a little frustrating to reckon with. He doesn't regret that it's happened, but it certainly does not make it as easy as it usually is to lie. His sole consolation prize is the fact that as of yet, Viktor hasn't noticed when he outright avoids any answering of questions he does not wish to address. ]
Far be it from me to dissuade you from that which we both desire, if you wish for the extra distraction.
[ It would, he thinks, be entertaining to at least try and distract Viktor to a point of total incoherence. A goal to aim for. Another reward at the end of this path, if they can manage to both survive the long walk to get there. This time, Viktor washes drags the washcloth with some level of intent, even if Emet-Selch notices that he still lingers. Dotes. He has no ground to stand on, having been similarly occupied with the line of Viktor's shoulders not a moment ago.
The press of Viktor's lips against his skin is not wholly objectionable, but Emet-Selch does tug gently at a loose curl if Viktor lingers overlong before picking up his task once again only to be the one distracted as Viktor sloshes his way over, draping arms over his shoulders, kissably close. Stars preserve him, this will be all he can think of for ages. He makes no effort to put space between them, indulgently taking the weight of him, curving his hands around the narrow line of Viktor's hips once the teacup is safely deposited. ]
They were in most cases because I enjoyed the indulgence of a bath. [ Now, the amusement is plain in his voice. Had he wanted privacy, he could have told Viktor to leave and borne any upset. He could have prohibited Viktor from coming into his room. He could have taken any number of actions he did not because, despite everything, he had enjoyed Viktor's company in his room. Had found it was not so miserable to be around someone, if you genuinely enjoyed their company.
Emet-Selch bears the kisses with a heavy sigh, the most put-upon man in this shard or the next, and brushes a kiss over Viktor's forehead, not trusting himself to hold back if he actually returned the kisses. Chamomile is easy, and easier still is recalling the precise way Viktor likes his chamomile to a point where creating it is thoughtless, reflex. He settles the gold teacup and saucer atop the lip of the tub and like a moth to flame his hand finds its way back to Viktor's waist. ]
If we take any longer in this task, we may be in here until lessons.
[ Just because he enjoyed the indulgence of a bath. Stars, what a perplexing man. Viktor allows himself an onze of self-pity for being so foolish as to have failed to see Emet-Selch's frequent soaks for what they were: comfort, vulnerability shared. The sullen pout that answers Emet-Selch's audible smirk does not hang on his features long, though. Not when Emet-Selch's hands fit to his hips like missing pieces of a puzzle, not when they have themselves so much to look forward to - a future past this mission, long baths, longer nights, a home, a life shared, a different kind of adventure than Viktor has ever known.
Treacherous, troublesome, dandelion hope springs up indefatigable, filling the blank spaces in their great duty, growing wild in the light at the end of their long, tiresome path. It feels an age since hope was a thing he could do for himself, and not the thing he was supposed to be for others. But here, in this excessive stone bath, warm and sleepy and sated, held and holding, Viktor looks ahead and for the first time in longer than he can recall, he sees points to pursue - sees things to want, however small, however silly. For the first time since the doors of the Crystal Tower first closed all those years ago, Viktor feels hope.
Suddenly, seeing this through, reaching Meteion, silencing her song, and fixing the mess left in the aftermath, feels all the more daunting - terrifying, even, in a way Viktor can't quite wrap his mind around. But it is also, somehow, all the more obtainable. No longer does it suit to be a leaf upon the wind, he must- he will grasp threads to weave the future that he wants, just as a version of him had tried ten thousand years ago. And this time, he will do it right. ]
Well.
[ Viktor butts his head into the crook of Emet-Selch's neck, planting just one more kiss on the slope of his throat. He takes a moment, feeling suddenly overwhelmed, beset by still cracking desire, by new ambition, by an impossible wave of affection for the dreadfully smug man in his arms.
Eventually, against Emet-Selch's skin, he murmurs, ] I've a proposal.
[ He withdraws. Not far, enough to give himself room to breathe, to cool the fire beneath his skin, but not out of Emet-Selch's reach, liking the feel of his hands upon his hips too much to leave his grasp. Viktor takes the golden tea cup in hand, admires the color, and then takes a sip before continuing. ]
To bed for now. No lessons in the morning. We sleep in, late as we please. [ That's truly the most important part. ] 'Twill p-perhaps upset the little lordling, but he will think little of us retiring early once again, and leave us f-free to go snooping about in the cellar once night falls.
[ Emet-Selch could, of course, swirl into something insubstantial and explore on his own, but Viktor finds waiting around for his return to be a dreadfully boring prospect. ]
And when we're through exploring, I would have you in this tub again. To warm up.
[ He wants to trace that pout with his fingers. Wants to press his mouth there to taste the shape of it. Emet-Selch does neither and feels lesser for having not done so. Viktor's mind is working just as hard as his own does; Emet-Selch would have to be blind not to recognize the sight.
Then, Viktor folds in against him, warm and solid, openly affectionate and Emet-Selch doesn't flinch back, doesn't do more than sigh quietly and press his chin to the spot between Viktor's ears while Viktor thinks. He wants Viktor's hands back on him again. Greedily, selfishly wants Viktor working out the tension in muscles he's ignored otherwise, wants the warmth of his hands anywhere he can get them, as if he hadn't had nearly every ilm of Viktor pressed against him the last few bells. ]
Do you.
[ Not a question but a statement, murmured with smug satisfaction at the fact that Viktor has to remove himself from the situation enough to be able to give that proposal. He highly doubts he's going to agree to the proposal, but he'll always hear the options out. ]
Much as I greatly enjoy the idea of upsetting him - and please know, I do find it very appealing - I've tasks I do wish to tend to before it becomes too late in the afternoon.
[ Chasing the ghosts of asicans past, trying to solve a mystery he had a hand in creating the foundation for feels a little too much like paying penance for past mistakes. It is necessary work, though. A slew of not-quite-ascians with their powers, without their memories is an entirely different problem than the one they anticipated walking into but one they must contend with all the same. ]
I will, however, snoop through the cellars with you this evening if you like. [ He makes no attempt to close the distance, instead contenting himself with another tug at a damp curl, studying Viktor's expression like it's the first time he's seen it before, quietly admiring him. ]
You truly believed I was - to be clear- naked in the bath upstairs speaking to you instead of ushering you out, because I required privacy from you?
Tasks? [ One ear quirks back, curiosity weighing a bend into his voice. There is a faint hint of disappointment as well, mostly in knowing he will not be able to sleep until noon. ] Alone tasks?
[ His doe eyes dip to consider the cloudy suds floating on the surface of the water. Strange, that Emet-Selch should have chores to attend to on a reflection he likely has not visited since he was called back from the Sea. Much as he would likely enjoy the planning required, Viktor doubts Emet-Selch is actually secretly plotting the prince's demise -- or at least, not planning to act upon that plot. Yet.
Ascian business, then. Emet-Selch had been evasive earlier, and Viktor cannot quite blame him. Some not-yet-sleeping part of him, the part drenched in violence, trained to aim for the throat when scenting a threat to the star, mislikes the secrecy so sharply it feels like teeth sunk into his mind. But there is no one better suited - no one Viktor would more readily trust - to handle this matter. And he had said as much, promised to leave the matter of awakened Ancient souls to Hades. That fanged alert fizzles beneath the weight of his own certainty. Viktor clears his throat. ]
Call if you've need of me, and I will be there. Otherwise... [ He pauses to sip his tea. It is exactingly perfect. The right steep, the right temperature, the right honey sweetness. Of course. ] I have a grave to visit, flowers to g-gather. [ A faint smile. ] And after, some snooping, aye?
[ Emet-Selch teases a spiral tendril between his fingers, and Viktor thinks to himself that he may go to his grave refusing to admit that expensive soaps had made a different for his hair - but he cannot even work up to a scowl about it. In the span of a heartbeat, Hades goes from smug to something softer. And though Viktor is no stranger to being ogled and admired, even by Emet-Selch, he finds the look on Hades's face makes his own flood with unexpected heat. Though a part of him wants to look away at that question, he cannot help but stare back, wide-eyed, wanting the moon's undivided attention. ]
Not- not in a malicious way.
[ Now, Viktor does look away, searching for words in his teacup. He is quiet for a long time, so long it nearly seems that is all he has to say on the matter. The problem, though, is not a lack of explanation, but a lack of orderly words with which to do the explaining. ]
The first time, I did think it passing strange. But you did not like to be t-touched, and so... I th-thought you were merely saving time, aye? And every time thereafter- [ He stops. A thoughtful scowl settles on Viktor's features, brow set heavily over his eyes, mouth curling into a frown. He looses one hand to dip fingers into the water, making ripples, making movement, trying to find words. When he finally continues, it is slow, careful, as though he isn't sure where his thoughts will take him. ] -it is... easy for me to forget that I am- that others look at me and see a... person sometimes. Not, you know, the Warrior. Who is... an object. So, to my mind, you t-took your baths with me in the room, because... I was little more than a pet dog. A piece of furniture. Something that was simply present. A-and so, why would desire be involved?
[ Which, yes, means alone tasks. Better not to deal with the fact he's allied with the enemy when attempting to navigate such uneven ground. Better not to paint a target upon Viktor's back, however unintentionally, when he's only barely grazed the surface of just how much everything has changed in the wake of their deaths.
Viktor's alertness does not go unnoticed, though. Emet-Selch weighs just how much of an answer to give and decides on functionally none. Not until he understands the full scope of the situation. Not until he has made a plan for what must be done and can run it past Viktor, less for reassurance and more for the peace of mind that Viktor will not interfere if what needs to be done is ugly. ]
When we've both returned and before we explore where the princeling would prefer we do not, I will explain my...suspicions on the matter. But not until I've confirmed them wholly. You'll simply have to live with a little mystery for now, I fear.
[ To hear Viktor explain his thoughts is not necessarily a surprise. An earlier Emet-Selch likely would have agreed to the assessment, but an earlier Emet-Selch would not have let Viktor linger in the room because he had no time for ghosts and certainly no time for flesh and blood recreations of them. Fetching his own glass once again with one hand, he goes back to the lazy lounge, one elbow leaned atop the stonework. The simple answer is that the first time...he'd forgotten himself. Forgotten to hold that line between them in the sand, ceded too much territory to Viktor and had not cared to take it back. There was still a barrier of a floor between them, he'd thought, foolish. A slippery slope, as always; he'd known it then and now was proof but he cannot quite find guilt about the choice when he looks for it. ]
I took my baths with you present because it was convenient. [ An understatement. The word convenient holds a half-dozen meanings with middling success. ] I misliked the thought of wasting time, and it seemed...wasteful just to send you away when 'twas not as if you could leer at me from the bottom floor.
[ And it isn't that he thought Viktor would leer, nor that he couldn't deal with a bit of leering, exactly, either. In some cases he'd almost prefer a leer - easier than contending with the simple truth of want. ]
[ Emet-Selch does not lie to him, but rarely does he readily provide whole and transparent truths. It is something Viktor has grown accustomed to - he hardly thinks himself clever enough to suss out what Emet-Selch wants to keep hidden, anyway. And so, Viktor is left with a simple decision: trust or worry himself sick about what might could be. And, really, he's far too busy for that second option.
So, he trusts. He trusts that Hades will be safe. That the most eminent Emet-Selch will call his hero if he faces real danger. That he will not tread a trecherous path alone. He also suspects that Hades would subject himself to immense torment if it meant sparing Viktor real danger, real despair. Which is horrendously silly of him - Viktor is made to face danger, to carry despair. ]
Well- just- [ he shrugs. ] do not- do not break your own heart to spare mine. 'Tis a fraught thing you research, I know. I do not want you to face what you discover alone. [ But he trusts that Hades will trust him enough, should the need arise, and so... ] I will await the revelation of your mystery eagerly, in the meantime.
[ He tries - oh he tries to stay serious after speaking so gently. But Emet-Selch goes on, and there's a smirk twitching across his face before he's even through explaining. A bright snort of laughter escapes Viktor just as soon as Emet-Selch is done. He catches the sound in his open palm, muffling it with his hand, and then jutting a finger out just as soon as he's calmed himself down. ]
Quite bold of you to accuse me of l-leering, isn't it? [ A waggle of said accusatory finger. ] I'd wager it's not been ten minutes since you told me of your bath tub daydreams. Aye, c-convenient. Sure. I know the t-truth of it now. Convenient that your pretty rabbit can't see how excited you get thinking about him, aye? [ He drifts closer again, flapping his free hand dismissively. Water sloshes as he climbs between Emet-Selch's legs and plants himself in his space again, grin a crescent moon, voice all firelight. ] You old pervert.
[ Despite his earlier claims, the chamomile shows no signs of making him drowsy as he takes another sip - it does not even dampen his smile, pressed so close to Emet-Selch's face once more. ]
And I s-suppose we just soaked in that bath in those imaginings of yours, hm? No funny business at all.
[ Would having to cull these false-Ascians break his heart? Emet-Selch does not think so. To return them to the aetherial sea were it necessary would be nothing more complex than doing his duty. He might regret the necessity for efficiency's sake, and for Viktor's but he does not think the heartache and regret would last. That, he supposes, is part of the problem. He ought to do more than regret that culling them would make his life more difficult ultimately, but that is not a conversation he wishes to have with Viktor at any point, at all, ever.
Blessedly, he's saved from having to elaborate - or weave a few creative truths, realistically, when Viktor starts laughing, the sight, the sound snapping Emet-Selch out of the frustrating train of thought. ]
Please. I ceased leering at least a century or two into existence. I...assess and appreciate. [ Emet-Selch snaps idly at the wagging finger, no real effort to try and catch it between his teeth, too distracted with Viktor sloshing water as he glides closer, neither of them making any real effort to progress the whole bathing endeavor. Emet-Selch cannot bring himself to feel regret about that, either. His nose wrinkles at the accusation of being a pervert - he is very old, and has no defense there. ]
More often than not. [ No guilt about culling, but in this moment the most irritating sense of embarrassment blooms. Were he a weaker man he would squirm. As it is, Emet-Selch keeps his gaze steadily on Viktor's expression. Embarrassment can be wielded like any other tool in his arsenal and Viktor is far more susceptible to Emet-Selch wielding the truth like a scalpel, even if it cuts both ways. ] Do not misunderstand. I've certainly had...untoward thoughts about you and those did, occasionally, take place in the bath. But more often than not, we simply bathed. Lounged. Indulged.
As grape juice gives way to w-wine, so too does l-leering age into "appreciating" given enough time, I suppose.
[ Another laugh, this one decadent, little more than a low hum, rumbles from deep in Viktor's chest. The only thing more thoroughly threaded through his voice than doubt is fondness. His waggling becomes a more overtly teasing one, gaze narrowing with catlike focus as he attempts to dodge the half-hearted chomping of teeth to press a fingertip to the squishy tip of Emet-Selch's nose without being nipped.
The little self-made game is distracting enough that it takes an extra second to process what Emet-Selch says next. When his words finally process, Viktor hangs, attention darting from the arrow point of Hades's perfect nose to his firefly eyes.
He ]
You c-could have just told me they were all untoward thoughts.
[ But he didn't. And that is rather the point, isn't it? Viktor needn't wander far to find someone perfectly, at times upsettingly, willing to divulge all the dirty little thoughts they've had about him. Dozens of people, chomping at the bit to share an adventure with the Warrior of Light -- whatever that happens to mean. He can count on one hand the number of people who seemed happy to just sit with him, to linger. Quiet closeness, without performance, without a fight. He can scarcely belive it possible.
Viktor's head droops, not quite enough to be sad, only thoughtful. He sets his teacup aside and fishes up the washcloth, saturated and floating beneath the surface of the water. Lightly, he settles his fingers upon the scar on Hades's chest, as though it might center him. Then, after a moment, he sets back to his original work -- fetching the soap to lather up anew. ]
Would you prefer I wear pajamas when we retire? [ A pause, heavy, hesitating. ] Would you hold me? In bed.
Hm. [ It is a tired, noncommittal rumble in acknowledgement of what was said rather than agreement necessarily. His attempt works, not that he expected anything else. Viktor is distracted from the prior subject nearly entirely it seems, and Emet-Selch allows himself a moment to be pleased. He isn't entirely wound around Viktor's finger. Not yet at least. ]
I could have, but that would have been a lie and those are tiresome.
[ Viktor returns to his task and Emet-Selch watches him with a predator's intent, half-heartedly reaching for his own teacup to take a drink but far more interested in Viktor than the contents of the glass. He wants to ask if Viktor would rather they pretend those imaginations were predominantly inappropriate, but he doesn't think the answer is yes. If he had to make a guess, he'd assume the real novelty is the idea that one might not want a quick tumble, but instead the thousand quiet intimacies between those moments that one might take for granted without the threat of losing them ]
...Do you normally sleep nude when alone and simply acquiesce to clothing when joining me in my quarters?
[ Emet-Selch doesn't answer the latter question instantly, finally winding his fingers around the teacup after pat-searching for it, and brings it to his mouth while Viktor soaps the washcloth anew. By now the heat has left the dredges; Emet-Selch silently spells it full and hot again, pleasantly warm and soft around the edges. It is not often he indulges in alcohol enough to feel something, but so long as he doesn't take another glass he thinks he comfortably straddles the line of enjoyable. ]
I am not opposed to physical contact in bed. You will be cautious, though.
[ It's not so long ago Emet-Selch had mistaken him for an assassin; it didn't matter there was no real threat, he'd prefer not to accidentally injure Viktor because in a half-awake state already jarred by the malms of bare skin, he'd forgotten where, when he was. ]
[ It's an earnest question. Before all this, "normal" had been his leathers for pajamas, his pack for a pillow. Rarer, a series of rented rooms, each with their own quirks - too starchy sheets in Sharlayan, too frigid for anything less than his full robe in Ishgard, too hot in Ul'dah to wear anything at all. Full pajamas and a robe and the embroidery if Alphinaud or Alisaie needed company to get to sleep. That plus a bottle of wine if it was Y'shtola or Lyse or Tataru needing to talk out their busy minds before bed.
Normal was flexibility. Normal is flexibility. Still, he does not wait for an answer. ]
When there is a bed, my preference is to sleep in linen pants. [ He returns to the work of washing, studying Emet-Selch's dips and curves. Soapy freckled fingers swipe over pale skin, and in that contrast, an impossibly old memory, his and not his, flits by dreamlike. He does not reach out to grasp the foggy deja vu feeling this time. Doesn't need to. Not when they make their own new memories here and now. He glances up, looks Hades in the eye. ] But my preference tonight is to feel you on my skin.
[ Viktor has some trouble, adhering to the task as stated. Too often does he lose track of what he should be doing and get lost in the simple joy of touching, of massaging tense muscles, of studying Emet-Selch's fingers and how much larger they are than his own.
He almost doesn't hear the last comment, but it makes both ears twitch with sudden focus. A huff of laughter escapes him, and he arches a brow at Hades, incredulous. ]
You will be cautious. [ A faint grin, fearless. He recalls quite clearly what Emet-Selch references. He does not care. ] I will be a-s-sleep.
Do not attempt to be cute. You know perfectly well what I mean.
[ Normal can mean anything depending on the day, but Viktor is being willfully obtuse. Unimpressed (but not unappreciative, at least), both with the avoidance and with Viktor's syrupy-slow attempt at washing, Emet-Selch allows him a few more moments of lingering and distraction and then before he allows Viktor to go so far as a proper massage, stands. The water sloshes at his hips, as he raises to his full height, tipping Viktor's chin up with a finger hooked beneath it.]
Then let us be asleep, sooner rather than later. [ A snap, a thoughtless little expenditure of aether. The bath, cleared. Viktor, sat in the dry stone with a pair of his linen trousers for him to keep or remove if needed. Emet-Selch, absolutely not in linen trousers but silk, forgoing a shirt despite the familiar magic tugging at him in offering. Compromise. Their bodies, cleaned, dried. A useful spell for the road, when one doesn't have access to somewhere proper to bathe and would rather avoid the river, but it never compares to an actual bath. ]
You may divest yourself of them when we are in bed where 'tis warm. [ But he'd thought at least getting to the bed or managing their wind-down routine, well, he might like to have some trousers on. ] Are you quite set on linen?
[ A mental image, suddenly, of Viktor in silk trousers, throwing himself across the bed, sliding across it heedless of the fact he might break his neck. Emet-Selch swallows a sigh, and steps out from the bath, teacup in one hand, the other tugging a silk dressing gown from nowhere to pull on for the time being. ]
Come along. Chop chop. There's a perfectly serviceable bed, and I would like to see it utilized for its intended purpose for at least a few bells tonight.
I am not being c-cute. [ A protest, delicately lodged. Emet-Selch fits a finger beneath Viktor's jaw, and his gaze goes where it's directed without resistance. Too readily, perhaps, does he heed Emet-Selch's command -- too readily does he find himself enjoying allowing Hades to direct him. ] You are very precise with your words. It- it makes me s-stop to more thoroughly consider my own. Before we came back to the First, I rarely stayed in the same p-place twice in a-
[ Hades changes their situation with a thoughtless snap, and though Viktor does not flinch at the change, it does leave him feeling a bit silly. Sat on stone wearing pants he wasn't a moment before, staring up at Emet-Selch, half-clothed. Noticing that he is half-clothed, not draped in pajamas that hew so close to Amaurotine robes. Funny, how a bit of extra fabric can be so much more appealing than simple nakedness. Viktor catches himself staring at the jutting points of Emet-Selch's hips, quietly amused and doing exactly what Hades had implied he might do.
He shakes his head, takes a second to account for the sensation of being suddenly clean, suddenly dry. A hand lifts, lighting on his crown. His hair is... not right. Not wrong, either. But he can tell by sense that the wild, windblown mess coils up higher than it should - corkscrews where waves should be, springing in odd directions, swallowing up the flowers that usually press his hair down. The silly shampoos, he tells himself, had nothing to do with it. ]
I've not slept much in anything but linen. 'Tis simply what I am used to.
[ He fetches his tea cup and rises, takes a sip, and then returns to his original thought, ]
Before we settled, there was no normal. And so, I h-had to think about what my preference was. [ Viktor steps out of the tub, mislikes how cold the floor is on his feet, and hurries over to the bed on tip toe. Somehow, he doesn't spill a drop of tea as he scurries, nor as he tosses himself into bed. The faintest tug on ambient aether perhaps explains away his remarkable ability to hold his cup steady as he seats himself on the bed. He takes one more sip before setting it on the bedside table. ] I've preferences now, though.
[ A doubtful, disagreeable noise, but he does not actually argue the fact despite the certainty he would win if he did. Viktor admitting he wants to be more thoughtful in his speech smooths down any disagreement, however minor. Viktor picks his way across the chilled stone and Emet-Selch sweeps his way through the room to tidy up what little he's moved about.
The water he'd pulled from the bath he reforms into yet another blanket, flicking it across the bed with a casual flip of his wrist from across the room. It settles itself across the bed, corners matched, soft to the touch and smelling vaguely of the same mint from the bath. If he hadn't expressed an interest in sleeping without as much clothing Emet-Selch would have created a couple sets of sleep pants to try on; as it is, he adds it to the back of his mind to consider later. ]
And? You've preferences now when you did not previously. Tell me some of them. [ a pause, a sideways look from where he's hanging up tomorrow's clothes for easy access. ] A non-insignificant number of them seem to be around not wearing clothing.
Hm. [ Viktor echoes the sound, sighs right after. Heatless, he complains, ] Must you 'hm' me when I am being en-t-tirely sincere?
[ More pressing than their brewing debate is fleeing this reflection's relentless, biting cold. Viktor burrows beneath sheets, into blankets, pulling them up over his nose, and then decides that even that is not warm enough. He sits up, finds one of the lingering fire crystals tucked into the bed's corners, only glancingly warm now, and attempts to coax it back to life.
His body interferes halfway through pulling threads. Light insists upon stillness, and the dim red glow goes pearly white. Heat turns to nothing, radiant numbness. Viktor plucks the crystal from where it's tucked with a frown, oozing disappointment, and sets it beside his half-empty teacup, an incandescent beacon in the candlelit room. He glares at the thing until Emet-Selch's next line of questions grabs his attention anew. ]
You say it as though it is a b-bad thing. The unfortunate truth is, I am quite f-fond of you, Emet-Selch, and my preference for less clothing is tied up in th-that.
[ A pause, a pout, he allows himself to consider the question in earnest with a rush of air through his nose. ]
I like our- [ All the hairs of the back of Viktor's neck stand on end, jolted by mortification. ] -your bed in the Crystarium. 'Tis quite big. And soft. Ample room to s-sprawl, but I can still r-reach you. And... it s-smells like you. 'Tis always warm, familiar.
[ Finally Viktor reclines, head settling into a ludicrously soft pillow, attention fixed on Emet-Selch as he tidies his quarters. Easier to watch him dodder about than to think about his own desires, still. It is, he finds, almost painful to consider want too directly. Even something as simple as how he'd prefer to sleep makes his brain, his nerves, his whole body rebel. As though he is aught but scar tissue, stiff and aching when pushed too far. ]
I don't know. [ He pulls the covers up over his head 'til only the tips of his ears stick out. Silence settles for a few heavy seconds before he goes on. From beneath the blankets, surrounded by warmth, Viktor allows: ] I do not l-like when it is too dark. Candles, or ceruleum lanterns, or hearth fire. The light, the sound, the smell - they are a comfort. [ Another pause. Then, soft, quiet: ] These blankets smell n-nice.
[ The downside to keeping his room in a near-exacting state, even when borrowed, is that there is precious little he needs to clean up to make it presentable for the day coming. This leaves him with precious little to distract from the fact Viktor lies between his bed's covers, and he very, very much wants to go join him.
Did he take the trousers off Emet-Selch had magicked into place for him? Is it better or worse if he doesn't? The faint pang of disappointment at the thought feels a little like a betrayal of himself; hasn't he had enough at this point? But no. He doesn't think he has. Doesn't think he will ever hit a point of enough, doesn't think that point exists. ]
Our bed, is it.
[ At least he finds the overall process easier when Viktor is the one on the off foot. He takes the unintentional bait dangled before him and uses it, shameless, prowling over to the bed. The robe is slid off of his shoulders, tossed upon one of the chairs near the bed and Emet-Selch pauses at his side of the bed, considering the knowledge as well as the altered crystal. Another snap, less theatrical, like the effort is more out of habit than attempting to put on any sort of show. Across the room, candelabras melt into existence, pre-lit, casting the whole of the room into dim lighting. Not so much it would be difficult to sleep, but enough that they won't walk into a piece of furniture getting up in the middle of the night to relieve themselves.
He keeps his sleep pants on, after a beat of hesitation, parting the covers, gingerly sliding between them, settling on his back and then just as soon as he's settled, rolling onto his side to regard Viktor quietly, scooting into the no man's land between them that once used to be an unthinkable distance to cross. Gently, he hooks finger into the blankets tugged above Viktor's head, nudging them down to his chin and then just...doesn't remove his arm from where it's settled atop his chest, despite the chill his shoulders and arm are exposed to. He can feel Viktor's warmth, just ilms away if he chooses to close the distance and bask in it. ]
Do you require additional candles or are these sufficient?
[ Regardless of Viktor's answer, he draws fingers across the covers and the crystals flare with renewed warmth once again, the bed slowly warming around them. ]
[ Our bed. Like a boy again, caught sneaking out when he should be in bed, Viktor tenses and stills, shoulders bunching. A mercy that he's hidden beneath blankets, the only sign he's been startled an innocuous shift of the lump on the bed as he forces himself to relax. It takes him a few seconds longer to work up the nerve to respond, listening to the sound of shifting cloth, another snap of fingers. ]
Would you find it tolerable? [ Viktor murmurs into the blankets settled over his face. It was Emet-Selch's bed first, after all. His quarters. His space, even if Viktor has become a persistent presence. Whatever they are, he is not so sure they have quite progressed to joint ownership of furniture -- something so wildly domestic as to be wholly alien, completely absurd. Thinking about it sends a wave of frission jolting up Viktor's back.
And then, a second later, the bed creaks from added weight. In seconds that tick by like stretched minutes, Emet-Selch settles, moves closer, and ilms the blankets down until Viktor's face is exposed to the cold. He opens his eyes, blinking at the new, low flickering light. Exactly what he'd asked for, not too bright, just enough to chase the dark away. Something like terror but not bubble up from low in Viktor's stomach. The feeling wraps around his lungs, squeezes, sets his heart to a galloping pace that surely, mortifyingly, Emet-Selch can feel beneath his palm.
Viktor swallows, shoring up the will to respond. ]
'Tis p-perfect.
[ He angles his head, trying to catch a glimpse at Emet-Selch lying behind him without moving too much, not wanting him to slip away. After a second, he slips a hand down to slide beneath the waistband of the linen trousers Emet-Selch had created for him. Viktor holds his breath, lifts his hips, and shoves the soft spun cloth down. Off his hips, past his thighs, until they're far enough down that he can wriggle the rest of the way out of them with a few kicks of his legs, leaving them hanging off the side of the bed.
Naked again, Viktor scoots back, closing the minute distance between them and pressing himself into the bend of Hades's body, hungry for his warmth, eager to be surrounded. He curls an arm around his pillow and shuts his eyes. ]
[ He strains to think about other evenings in his quarters. He was perfectly happy with blackout curtains, drawn tight about the windows to try and maintain as much darkness as possible through the evening. More often than not he'd leave a fire lit, either in the fireplace or through candles just to be able to see enough to get to the bathroom in the middle of the night if needed, but no more.
No sense worrying about it now, but something to consider for later, maybe. For all the other evenings they'll share in the same space, a thought that doesn't cause nearly as much consternation as it once did.
The blankets rustle, Viktor squirming, wiggling about and Emet-Selch lifts his arm, scooting away a bit to give him space as he tries to parse out the movements beneath the blankets, and, ah. He'll wait for Viktor to ask again, once or twice on his end, regarding his own trousers. There's the sound of cloth hitting the floor on the opposite end of the bed; Emet-Selch bites back most of a sigh. ]
I just had my head tucked betwixt your thighs the better part of the evening, to say nothing of the rest of the night's activities.
[ They have, he thinks, passed far past the point of 'too close' several times over. Viktor squirms closer and Emet-Selch doesn't, for once, tense. He's too tired to, simply raising the sheet and blankets up a little so Viktor can curve his body back into Emet-Selch's own, and Emet-Selch gingerly fits himself close, presses his face into Viktor's curls and inhales a breath that shudders a little.
The warmth of Viktor's bare back presses against his chest, the scent of him already laid into the sheets. He wants - he wants. He's had Viktor, has him now and yet he wants further, greedy to the end. An arm drapes itself over Viktor's waist, tucking the covers in tighter around both of them until Viktor is, in fact, surrounded. Our bed, he thinks, and is pleasantly surprised when the consideration doesn't ache with old memories.
Sleepily, Emet-Selch asks the somewhat pedantic question rolling around in his brain, no longer precisely annunciated, but sleep-thick edges, the start of a yawn at the end. ] Is it just the bed?
[ He cannot help but sass back, though when Emet-Selch closes an arm around his waist to draw him in, it rather dampens the desire to give him any trouble at all. A hum, low and pleased, rolls out of him as he feels his shoulder blades press to skin. Embraced wholly, every ilm of him cradled by warmth, his skin prickles where they've slotted together, matched pieces.
And in the next breath, in the heartbeat of silence that follows, doubt bubbles up in the hollow of his chest; his lot is to serve, not receive such decadence. He is undeserving, has been spoiled, and the star will take its due for this excess.
Viktor shuts his eyes more tightly, lights his fingers on the back of the palm draped over his stomach, and pushes back on that feeling. This is worth it, and it will not be taken from him so easily.
Hades asks a question, and Viktor remembers to breathe. The tension set into his muscles unwinds, and he echoes the yawn, unable to help himself. ]
Our... kitchen, maybe. [ He offers, low and thoughtful, welcoming the distraction from darker thoughts. ] Our cups and plates. Our hearth. Our window garden. Our bath. [ Each item he lists draws a bit more tension out of him, and he echoes Emet-Selch's yawn, unable to help himself. ] Your shoebill. But, our... [ He starts to drift toward dreaming, voice going quiet as he slips into unconsciousness. ] ...little sprouts.
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no subject
He lacks Aepymetes's clairvoyance, and simpler than that, he lacks ages of insight both his predecessor and Hythlodaeus had. Surely the two of them could tease out the tangles of Emet-Selch's mind before they were even snags. He finds himself a little unprepared to take the reins, but inexperience has never stopped Viktor before - certainly not from trying to tackle something that mattered. His fingertips stop in their spin of idle lines in Emet-Selch's hair so that he can flatten his palm clumsily against Emet-Selch's cheek. Then, Viktor sighs. ]
Stop thinking about tomorrow for a minute. [ He angles his chin down only just, butting his forehead against the side of Emet-Selch's face, and letting the contact linger. ] Stop thinking about what might could be, what was. For a minute. Indulge me once more, here, now, and t-tell me, how are you feeling? What weighs on your mind?
no subject
[ Viktor's busied himself with Emet-Selch's hands and he's allowed it - allowed, like he hasn't been basking in the warmth of Viktor's touch and gaze, a lazy cat in an unending sunbeam. To have him stop now, and try to get Emet-Selch's attention is distraction, but instead of annoyed there's the briefest fissure of guilt. Life was easier when he forgot what guilt felt like. ]
How am I feeling? [ He repeats, a little incredulous before he tempers his tone to something a little less incredulous. It's a valid question. He knows why Viktor is asking. He can be present now instead of in the past, or in a future that has not even been won yet. His chin hooks over Viktor's shoulder, a breath inhaled and sighed out, chest rising and falling dramatically. ] Like I could sleep a dozen years or so, wake, and sleep a dozen more.
[ He nips at Viktor's shoulder, empty glass set aside and begins to rise up and grasp soap to begin the process of being one step closer to crawling into bed. ]
It has been an age, but I can promise you I am not some virginal creature who now needs gentle handling after being tupped. [ Another pause, glancing at Viktor. ] Nor should you fear I will wake in the morning aghast at my lack of control.
no subject
Viktor's fingers skim the outer shell of Emet-Selch's ear while he speaks, pointer finger down and around, then middle finger back up, repeating the process again and again, thoughtless repetition. ]
Well. I hope you can settle for a world where we can sleep a dozen hours, then wake, s-see to things for a bit, and sleep a dozen more. That's the one I've been working toward, at least. And 'twould be a pain in my arse to change plans n-now.
[ A soft snicker escapes him at the feel of Hades's teeth on his skin again. In the next breath, Emet-Selch, of course, effortlessly pinpoints what has always been the heart of Viktor's fears, but when Viktor looks at it now, that everpresent threat of abandonment doesn't loom quite so large. When he watches Hades rise up partway to grab soap, he cannot help but note just how absent that worry is. No, where biting cold should be, there is only certainty - that there will always be love between them, that Hades will ever answer, should he call. ]
Aye. I know. But even the strapping lads that worked Limsa's docks like a sweet word and a bit of care from time to time, you know. I do not coddle you, because you do not n-need to be coddled. [ He reaches for Emet-Selch's hand as he stretches, fingers closing around his wrist. ] Let me.
no subject
This is, of course, the danger he'd feared. Too indulgent, all the years of work putting up the barriers necessary to achieve their great work tumbled down in the span of a few years by Viktor. Maddening. ]
This new world you envision must have more bells in a day than we currently have.
[ There is something to be said for the ease of sleeping for ages, though. While mortals cannot manage such a thing, Emet-Selch thinks that it would not be so terrible to try to get as close to such a thing as was possible. He thinks to argue, to be contrary, like it's built into his very aether, this inability to let this go, to allow Viktor the same indulgences he would have allowed Hythlodaeus and Aepymetes without a second thought ages prior. The rubble Vitkor must manage to make his way through after crashing that wall down, he thinks wryly, and hands over both the soap and washcloth with a sigh. ]
Only because arguing further would delay us retiring to bed and I am very much looking forward to what little sleep we will manage to grasp tonight.
no subject
No. [ Viktor chirrups, soft, as he works up a lather between his hands. He allows a grin to twitch across his features as he elaborates. ] We just work extra hard during those hours we are a-w-wake.
[ Almost too quick to track his movements, he repositions. Knees bent, body up and turned, then deposited back in front of Emet-Selch again, facing him now, though his attention stays mostly on the wash cloth. Emet-Selch's soaps are rich, decadent things, full of deep, delicate scent, made unignorable when worked up into a foam like this.
It reminds Viktor of their morning lessons, of Crystarium meetings where they'd find themselves sat together, of those brief moments, ages ago, when a much less kind Emet-Selch would nevertheless permit a much more foolish Viktor to get close enough to ask a question. Always subtle, then. Placed directly under his nose, now, it's shocking just how many memories the scent evokes. Not all of them good, certainly, but proof of lives intertwined for far longer than Viktor had realized. ]
Come now, sometimes it is f-fun to make bad choices. You'd've been up in bed trying to r-read all this time, anyway, had we not- [ His voice goes soft. The words that escape him are tentative, fond. ] -gotten ourselves distracted.
[ He glances up, meeting Emet-Selch's eye, and leans in. With a gentle press of fingers to Emet-Selch's jaw, Viktor tips his head back and sets to cleaning, starting at his neck and washing up to his chin with the sort of focused intensity he usually reserves for battle. Were Viktor a painter, he would obsess for ages over the way beads of sudsy water drip lines down Hades's skin. He will settle, instead, for simply watching them fall as he bobs closer to swipe the wash cloth over the back of Emet-Selch's neck. ]
What lesson have you in mind, then, that we cannot steal a bell's extra sleep?
that should read to *NOT allow fuck
That is uncharitable. Emet-Selch swallows back anything he could say that would be misconstrued and presents himself with minimal fuss for Viktor's attention. Viktor dotes, he does not smother, does not parent. Emet-Selch could, he thinks, give a little grace when he has been offered so much. That doesn't make him any more comfortable, though. ]
Reading, I find, is generally a much less strenuous activity.
[ Viktor is doting, he is indulging himself, Emet-Selch reminds as Viktor takes his sweet time with what could very easily be a few moment process. He lingers, not so much washing as he is running the cloth over skin idly and watching water drip.
A version of him from a few years ago would have found this functionally unbearable. Not just being touched, not just the bare skin, not just the fact it was someone sundered - even if they were Azem - but the unearned experience of being spoiled would have turned his stomach. Now, he can at least recognize the feeling for what it is and squash it under his metaphorical boot, forcibly leaning into Viktor to savor the press of wet, bare skin.
A fresh glass of steaming mulled wine appears in hand, tilting his head just enough to be able to take a long pull from the teacup. ]
Am I to conjure another glass, or are you finished for the evening? [ A pause, then a slow confession, like the thought just occurred to him, and he's too tired to weigh whether or not he ought to give voice to the thought. ] There were evenings when I was - where I allowed my mind to wander. To consider a potential thread where one evening, you tired of calling back and forth to each other from floors apart. You would come up the stairs - disposing of your clothes on the steps up, of course, threatening to break one or both our necks in so doing - and join me in the bath.
[ A pause, a smirk over the rim of his teacup, a little levity in his tone under all the faux-condescension. ]
You were much quicker in those imaginations.
LMAO I knew what you meant at least sob
Ah! Better for the heart, to get worked up from time to time. And roughly twice as fun, I reckon, depending on the b-book. [ He cuts his gaze up as he drags the washcloth over Emet-Selch's clavicles, his pleasant smile breaking with a snort of laughter into an impish grin. ] If you miss it s-so much, the next time you find your head between my legs, mayhap I'll try my hand at reading to you while you work.
[ Surprise writes itself across his features when Emet-Selch presses closer. He falls silent, wraps his arms around Emet-Selch's back to clean there, and indulges in leaving a line of gentle, lingering kisses from the edge of one shoulder, down the length of Hades's clavicle as he works. It will take ages to memorize the shape of him as much as he'd like - he does not intend to waste any opportunity to study. Not ever again.
Viktor leans back only once a question has been asked of him, and does not answer right away. He watches, listens, and most importantly tries not to let that sinful little smirk, the sharp fireplace crackle of Hades' voice reignite the embers banked in his own belly. It feels a little like a limb that's fallen asleep, fine when it is numb and nothing, startlingly sharp when it starts to come to life again. And almost frightening, how readily desire sparks in him. Like there is something hanging just outside of view, waiting to call down retribution if he wants too much in too short a time - something that will take Hades from him. And stars, he does not know how his heart would manage that.
And yet, in spite of his fear, it is all too easy to get tangled up in Emet-Selch's little fantasy - to know that he, too, had daydreamed of their bodies pressed together long before it had been a possibility. Viktor thinks of discarded clothes, of that cramped little bath, clouded with steam, surrounded by leaves and vines. Heavens, he cannot wait to be home again, to scamper up to their little tub and press even closer for lack of extra legroom. That Viktor had posed his own question, that it sits unanswered still, goes wholly forgotten.
A breathy laugh escapes him, and on its tails, the start of an admission, ]
I thought-
[ He carries himself over each sound with too much care, but catches himself, sounding like a child being scolded, and after a breath, soldiers on with more confidence. ]
'Twas my belief that your baths were meant to give you p-privacy. At best, that you needed the distance. And I've less than no interest in... imposing myself upon someone who does not want me. However- [ Viktor leaves the wash cloth floating in the water, sloshes forward, mindful of Emet-Selch's tea cup, to drape both arms over his shoulders. ] -I fear you will know very little peace, going forward. I may have f-failed in a quick surprise, but I can more than make up for it with a slow descent into madness.
[ Viktor kisses him, once, twice, three times, achingly light brushes of lips along his jaw, up to his mouth. Grin renewed, against Emet-Selch's lips, he murmurs. ]
Conjure me a chamomile tea, or I fear I will have you awake 'til our lessons would've begun, anyway.
no subject
Far be it from me to dissuade you from that which we both desire, if you wish for the extra distraction.
[ It would, he thinks, be entertaining to at least try and distract Viktor to a point of total incoherence. A goal to aim for. Another reward at the end of this path, if they can manage to both survive the long walk to get there. This time, Viktor washes drags the washcloth with some level of intent, even if Emet-Selch notices that he still lingers. Dotes. He has no ground to stand on, having been similarly occupied with the line of Viktor's shoulders not a moment ago.
The press of Viktor's lips against his skin is not wholly objectionable, but Emet-Selch does tug gently at a loose curl if Viktor lingers overlong before picking up his task once again only to be the one distracted as Viktor sloshes his way over, draping arms over his shoulders, kissably close. Stars preserve him, this will be all he can think of for ages. He makes no effort to put space between them, indulgently taking the weight of him, curving his hands around the narrow line of Viktor's hips once the teacup is safely deposited. ]
They were in most cases because I enjoyed the indulgence of a bath. [ Now, the amusement is plain in his voice. Had he wanted privacy, he could have told Viktor to leave and borne any upset. He could have prohibited Viktor from coming into his room. He could have taken any number of actions he did not because, despite everything, he had enjoyed Viktor's company in his room. Had found it was not so miserable to be around someone, if you genuinely enjoyed their company.
Emet-Selch bears the kisses with a heavy sigh, the most put-upon man in this shard or the next, and brushes a kiss over Viktor's forehead, not trusting himself to hold back if he actually returned the kisses. Chamomile is easy, and easier still is recalling the precise way Viktor likes his chamomile to a point where creating it is thoughtless, reflex. He settles the gold teacup and saucer atop the lip of the tub and like a moth to flame his hand finds its way back to Viktor's waist. ]
If we take any longer in this task, we may be in here until lessons.
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Treacherous, troublesome, dandelion hope springs up indefatigable, filling the blank spaces in their great duty, growing wild in the light at the end of their long, tiresome path. It feels an age since hope was a thing he could do for himself, and not the thing he was supposed to be for others. But here, in this excessive stone bath, warm and sleepy and sated, held and holding, Viktor looks ahead and for the first time in longer than he can recall, he sees points to pursue - sees things to want, however small, however silly. For the first time since the doors of the Crystal Tower first closed all those years ago, Viktor feels hope.
Suddenly, seeing this through, reaching Meteion, silencing her song, and fixing the mess left in the aftermath, feels all the more daunting - terrifying, even, in a way Viktor can't quite wrap his mind around. But it is also, somehow, all the more obtainable. No longer does it suit to be a leaf upon the wind, he must- he will grasp threads to weave the future that he wants, just as a version of him had tried ten thousand years ago. And this time, he will do it right. ]
Well.
[ Viktor butts his head into the crook of Emet-Selch's neck, planting just one more kiss on the slope of his throat. He takes a moment, feeling suddenly overwhelmed, beset by still cracking desire, by new ambition, by an impossible wave of affection for the dreadfully smug man in his arms.
Eventually, against Emet-Selch's skin, he murmurs, ] I've a proposal.
[ He withdraws. Not far, enough to give himself room to breathe, to cool the fire beneath his skin, but not out of Emet-Selch's reach, liking the feel of his hands upon his hips too much to leave his grasp. Viktor takes the golden tea cup in hand, admires the color, and then takes a sip before continuing. ]
To bed for now. No lessons in the morning. We sleep in, late as we please. [ That's truly the most important part. ] 'Twill p-perhaps upset the little lordling, but he will think little of us retiring early once again, and leave us f-free to go snooping about in the cellar once night falls.
[ Emet-Selch could, of course, swirl into something insubstantial and explore on his own, but Viktor finds waiting around for his return to be a dreadfully boring prospect. ]
And when we're through exploring, I would have you in this tub again. To warm up.
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Then, Viktor folds in against him, warm and solid, openly affectionate and Emet-Selch doesn't flinch back, doesn't do more than sigh quietly and press his chin to the spot between Viktor's ears while Viktor thinks. He wants Viktor's hands back on him again. Greedily, selfishly wants Viktor working out the tension in muscles he's ignored otherwise, wants the warmth of his hands anywhere he can get them, as if he hadn't had nearly every ilm of Viktor pressed against him the last few bells. ]
Do you.
[ Not a question but a statement, murmured with smug satisfaction at the fact that Viktor has to remove himself from the situation enough to be able to give that proposal. He highly doubts he's going to agree to the proposal, but he'll always hear the options out. ]
Much as I greatly enjoy the idea of upsetting him - and please know, I do find it very appealing - I've tasks I do wish to tend to before it becomes too late in the afternoon.
[ Chasing the ghosts of asicans past, trying to solve a mystery he had a hand in creating the foundation for feels a little too much like paying penance for past mistakes. It is necessary work, though. A slew of not-quite-ascians with their powers, without their memories is an entirely different problem than the one they anticipated walking into but one they must contend with all the same. ]
I will, however, snoop through the cellars with you this evening if you like. [ He makes no attempt to close the distance, instead contenting himself with another tug at a damp curl, studying Viktor's expression like it's the first time he's seen it before, quietly admiring him. ]
You truly believed I was - to be clear- naked in the bath upstairs speaking to you instead of ushering you out, because I required privacy from you?
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[ His doe eyes dip to consider the cloudy suds floating on the surface of the water. Strange, that Emet-Selch should have chores to attend to on a reflection he likely has not visited since he was called back from the Sea. Much as he would likely enjoy the planning required, Viktor doubts Emet-Selch is actually secretly plotting the prince's demise -- or at least, not planning to act upon that plot. Yet.
Ascian business, then. Emet-Selch had been evasive earlier, and Viktor cannot quite blame him. Some not-yet-sleeping part of him, the part drenched in violence, trained to aim for the throat when scenting a threat to the star, mislikes the secrecy so sharply it feels like teeth sunk into his mind. But there is no one better suited - no one Viktor would more readily trust - to handle this matter. And he had said as much, promised to leave the matter of awakened Ancient souls to Hades. That fanged alert fizzles beneath the weight of his own certainty. Viktor clears his throat. ]
Call if you've need of me, and I will be there. Otherwise... [ He pauses to sip his tea. It is exactingly perfect. The right steep, the right temperature, the right honey sweetness. Of course. ] I have a grave to visit, flowers to g-gather. [ A faint smile. ] And after, some snooping, aye?
[ Emet-Selch teases a spiral tendril between his fingers, and Viktor thinks to himself that he may go to his grave refusing to admit that expensive soaps had made a different for his hair - but he cannot even work up to a scowl about it. In the span of a heartbeat, Hades goes from smug to something softer. And though Viktor is no stranger to being ogled and admired, even by Emet-Selch, he finds the look on Hades's face makes his own flood with unexpected heat. Though a part of him wants to look away at that question, he cannot help but stare back, wide-eyed, wanting the moon's undivided attention. ]
Not- not in a malicious way.
[ Now, Viktor does look away, searching for words in his teacup. He is quiet for a long time, so long it nearly seems that is all he has to say on the matter. The problem, though, is not a lack of explanation, but a lack of orderly words with which to do the explaining. ]
The first time, I did think it passing strange. But you did not like to be t-touched, and so... I th-thought you were merely saving time, aye? And every time thereafter- [ He stops. A thoughtful scowl settles on Viktor's features, brow set heavily over his eyes, mouth curling into a frown. He looses one hand to dip fingers into the water, making ripples, making movement, trying to find words. When he finally continues, it is slow, careful, as though he isn't sure where his thoughts will take him. ] -it is... easy for me to forget that I am- that others look at me and see a... person sometimes. Not, you know, the Warrior. Who is... an object. So, to my mind, you t-took your baths with me in the room, because... I was little more than a pet dog. A piece of furniture. Something that was simply present. A-and so, why would desire be involved?
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[ Which, yes, means alone tasks. Better not to deal with the fact he's allied with the enemy when attempting to navigate such uneven ground. Better not to paint a target upon Viktor's back, however unintentionally, when he's only barely grazed the surface of just how much everything has changed in the wake of their deaths.
Viktor's alertness does not go unnoticed, though. Emet-Selch weighs just how much of an answer to give and decides on functionally none. Not until he understands the full scope of the situation. Not until he has made a plan for what must be done and can run it past Viktor, less for reassurance and more for the peace of mind that Viktor will not interfere if what needs to be done is ugly. ]
When we've both returned and before we explore where the princeling would prefer we do not, I will explain my...suspicions on the matter. But not until I've confirmed them wholly. You'll simply have to live with a little mystery for now, I fear.
[ To hear Viktor explain his thoughts is not necessarily a surprise. An earlier Emet-Selch likely would have agreed to the assessment, but an earlier Emet-Selch would not have let Viktor linger in the room because he had no time for ghosts and certainly no time for flesh and blood recreations of them. Fetching his own glass once again with one hand, he goes back to the lazy lounge, one elbow leaned atop the stonework. The simple answer is that the first time...he'd forgotten himself. Forgotten to hold that line between them in the sand, ceded too much territory to Viktor and had not cared to take it back. There was still a barrier of a floor between them, he'd thought, foolish. A slippery slope, as always; he'd known it then and now was proof but he cannot quite find guilt about the choice when he looks for it. ]
I took my baths with you present because it was convenient. [ An understatement. The word convenient holds a half-dozen meanings with middling success. ] I misliked the thought of wasting time, and it seemed...wasteful just to send you away when 'twas not as if you could leer at me from the bottom floor.
[ And it isn't that he thought Viktor would leer, nor that he couldn't deal with a bit of leering, exactly, either. In some cases he'd almost prefer a leer - easier than contending with the simple truth of want. ]
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So, he trusts. He trusts that Hades will be safe. That the most eminent Emet-Selch will call his hero if he faces real danger. That he will not tread a trecherous path alone. He also suspects that Hades would subject himself to immense torment if it meant sparing Viktor real danger, real despair. Which is horrendously silly of him - Viktor is made to face danger, to carry despair. ]
Well- just- [ he shrugs. ] do not- do not break your own heart to spare mine. 'Tis a fraught thing you research, I know. I do not want you to face what you discover alone. [ But he trusts that Hades will trust him enough, should the need arise, and so... ] I will await the revelation of your mystery eagerly, in the meantime.
[ He tries - oh he tries to stay serious after speaking so gently. But Emet-Selch goes on, and there's a smirk twitching across his face before he's even through explaining. A bright snort of laughter escapes Viktor just as soon as Emet-Selch is done. He catches the sound in his open palm, muffling it with his hand, and then jutting a finger out just as soon as he's calmed himself down. ]
Quite bold of you to accuse me of l-leering, isn't it? [ A waggle of said accusatory finger. ] I'd wager it's not been ten minutes since you told me of your bath tub daydreams. Aye, c-convenient. Sure. I know the t-truth of it now. Convenient that your pretty rabbit can't see how excited you get thinking about him, aye? [ He drifts closer again, flapping his free hand dismissively. Water sloshes as he climbs between Emet-Selch's legs and plants himself in his space again, grin a crescent moon, voice all firelight. ] You old pervert.
[ Despite his earlier claims, the chamomile shows no signs of making him drowsy as he takes another sip - it does not even dampen his smile, pressed so close to Emet-Selch's face once more. ]
And I s-suppose we just soaked in that bath in those imaginings of yours, hm? No funny business at all.
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Blessedly, he's saved from having to elaborate - or weave a few creative truths, realistically, when Viktor starts laughing, the sight, the sound snapping Emet-Selch out of the frustrating train of thought. ]
Please. I ceased leering at least a century or two into existence. I...assess and appreciate. [ Emet-Selch snaps idly at the wagging finger, no real effort to try and catch it between his teeth, too distracted with Viktor sloshing water as he glides closer, neither of them making any real effort to progress the whole bathing endeavor. Emet-Selch cannot bring himself to feel regret about that, either. His nose wrinkles at the accusation of being a pervert - he is very old, and has no defense there. ]
More often than not. [ No guilt about culling, but in this moment the most irritating sense of embarrassment blooms. Were he a weaker man he would squirm. As it is, Emet-Selch keeps his gaze steadily on Viktor's expression. Embarrassment can be wielded like any other tool in his arsenal and Viktor is far more susceptible to Emet-Selch wielding the truth like a scalpel, even if it cuts both ways. ] Do not misunderstand. I've certainly had...untoward thoughts about you and those did, occasionally, take place in the bath. But more often than not, we simply bathed. Lounged. Indulged.
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[ Another laugh, this one decadent, little more than a low hum, rumbles from deep in Viktor's chest. The only thing more thoroughly threaded through his voice than doubt is fondness. His waggling becomes a more overtly teasing one, gaze narrowing with catlike focus as he attempts to dodge the half-hearted chomping of teeth to press a fingertip to the squishy tip of Emet-Selch's nose without being nipped.
The little self-made game is distracting enough that it takes an extra second to process what Emet-Selch says next. When his words finally process, Viktor hangs, attention darting from the arrow point of Hades's perfect nose to his firefly eyes.
He ]
You c-could have just told me they were all untoward thoughts.
[ But he didn't. And that is rather the point, isn't it? Viktor needn't wander far to find someone perfectly, at times upsettingly, willing to divulge all the dirty little thoughts they've had about him. Dozens of people, chomping at the bit to share an adventure with the Warrior of Light -- whatever that happens to mean. He can count on one hand the number of people who seemed happy to just sit with him, to linger. Quiet closeness, without performance, without a fight. He can scarcely belive it possible.
Viktor's head droops, not quite enough to be sad, only thoughtful. He sets his teacup aside and fishes up the washcloth, saturated and floating beneath the surface of the water. Lightly, he settles his fingers upon the scar on Hades's chest, as though it might center him. Then, after a moment, he sets back to his original work -- fetching the soap to lather up anew. ]
Would you prefer I wear pajamas when we retire? [ A pause, heavy, hesitating. ] Would you hold me? In bed.
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I could have, but that would have been a lie and those are tiresome.
[ Viktor returns to his task and Emet-Selch watches him with a predator's intent, half-heartedly reaching for his own teacup to take a drink but far more interested in Viktor than the contents of the glass. He wants to ask if Viktor would rather they pretend those imaginations were predominantly inappropriate, but he doesn't think the answer is yes. If he had to make a guess, he'd assume the real novelty is the idea that one might not want a quick tumble, but instead the thousand quiet intimacies between those moments that one might take for granted without the threat of losing them ]
...Do you normally sleep nude when alone and simply acquiesce to clothing when joining me in my quarters?
[ Emet-Selch doesn't answer the latter question instantly, finally winding his fingers around the teacup after pat-searching for it, and brings it to his mouth while Viktor soaps the washcloth anew. By now the heat has left the dredges; Emet-Selch silently spells it full and hot again, pleasantly warm and soft around the edges. It is not often he indulges in alcohol enough to feel something, but so long as he doesn't take another glass he thinks he comfortably straddles the line of enjoyable. ]
I am not opposed to physical contact in bed. You will be cautious, though.
[ It's not so long ago Emet-Selch had mistaken him for an assassin; it didn't matter there was no real threat, he'd prefer not to accidentally injure Viktor because in a half-awake state already jarred by the malms of bare skin, he'd forgotten where, when he was. ]
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[ It's an earnest question. Before all this, "normal" had been his leathers for pajamas, his pack for a pillow. Rarer, a series of rented rooms, each with their own quirks - too starchy sheets in Sharlayan, too frigid for anything less than his full robe in Ishgard, too hot in Ul'dah to wear anything at all. Full pajamas and a robe and the embroidery if Alphinaud or Alisaie needed company to get to sleep. That plus a bottle of wine if it was Y'shtola or Lyse or Tataru needing to talk out their busy minds before bed.
Normal was flexibility. Normal is flexibility. Still, he does not wait for an answer. ]
When there is a bed, my preference is to sleep in linen pants. [ He returns to the work of washing, studying Emet-Selch's dips and curves. Soapy freckled fingers swipe over pale skin, and in that contrast, an impossibly old memory, his and not his, flits by dreamlike. He does not reach out to grasp the foggy deja vu feeling this time. Doesn't need to. Not when they make their own new memories here and now. He glances up, looks Hades in the eye. ] But my preference tonight is to feel you on my skin.
[ Viktor has some trouble, adhering to the task as stated. Too often does he lose track of what he should be doing and get lost in the simple joy of touching, of massaging tense muscles, of studying Emet-Selch's fingers and how much larger they are than his own.
He almost doesn't hear the last comment, but it makes both ears twitch with sudden focus. A huff of laughter escapes him, and he arches a brow at Hades, incredulous. ]
You will be cautious. [ A faint grin, fearless. He recalls quite clearly what Emet-Selch references. He does not care. ] I will be a-s-sleep.
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[ Normal can mean anything depending on the day, but Viktor is being willfully obtuse. Unimpressed (but not unappreciative, at least), both with the avoidance and with Viktor's syrupy-slow attempt at washing, Emet-Selch allows him a few more moments of lingering and distraction and then before he allows Viktor to go so far as a proper massage, stands. The water sloshes at his hips, as he raises to his full height, tipping Viktor's chin up with a finger hooked beneath it.]
Then let us be asleep, sooner rather than later. [ A snap, a thoughtless little expenditure of aether. The bath, cleared. Viktor, sat in the dry stone with a pair of his linen trousers for him to keep or remove if needed. Emet-Selch, absolutely not in linen trousers but silk, forgoing a shirt despite the familiar magic tugging at him in offering. Compromise. Their bodies, cleaned, dried. A useful spell for the road, when one doesn't have access to somewhere proper to bathe and would rather avoid the river, but it never compares to an actual bath. ]
You may divest yourself of them when we are in bed where 'tis warm. [ But he'd thought at least getting to the bed or managing their wind-down routine, well, he might like to have some trousers on. ] Are you quite set on linen?
[ A mental image, suddenly, of Viktor in silk trousers, throwing himself across the bed, sliding across it heedless of the fact he might break his neck. Emet-Selch swallows a sigh, and steps out from the bath, teacup in one hand, the other tugging a silk dressing gown from nowhere to pull on for the time being. ]
Come along. Chop chop. There's a perfectly serviceable bed, and I would like to see it utilized for its intended purpose for at least a few bells tonight.
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[ Hades changes their situation with a thoughtless snap, and though Viktor does not flinch at the change, it does leave him feeling a bit silly. Sat on stone wearing pants he wasn't a moment before, staring up at Emet-Selch, half-clothed. Noticing that he is half-clothed, not draped in pajamas that hew so close to Amaurotine robes. Funny, how a bit of extra fabric can be so much more appealing than simple nakedness. Viktor catches himself staring at the jutting points of Emet-Selch's hips, quietly amused and doing exactly what Hades had implied he might do.
He shakes his head, takes a second to account for the sensation of being suddenly clean, suddenly dry. A hand lifts, lighting on his crown. His hair is... not right. Not wrong, either. But he can tell by sense that the wild, windblown mess coils up higher than it should - corkscrews where waves should be, springing in odd directions, swallowing up the flowers that usually press his hair down. The silly shampoos, he tells himself, had nothing to do with it. ]
I've not slept much in anything but linen. 'Tis simply what I am used to.
[ He fetches his tea cup and rises, takes a sip, and then returns to his original thought, ]
Before we settled, there was no normal. And so, I h-had to think about what my preference was. [ Viktor steps out of the tub, mislikes how cold the floor is on his feet, and hurries over to the bed on tip toe. Somehow, he doesn't spill a drop of tea as he scurries, nor as he tosses himself into bed. The faintest tug on ambient aether perhaps explains away his remarkable ability to hold his cup steady as he seats himself on the bed. He takes one more sip before setting it on the bedside table. ] I've preferences now, though.
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[ A doubtful, disagreeable noise, but he does not actually argue the fact despite the certainty he would win if he did. Viktor admitting he wants to be more thoughtful in his speech smooths down any disagreement, however minor. Viktor picks his way across the chilled stone and Emet-Selch sweeps his way through the room to tidy up what little he's moved about.
The water he'd pulled from the bath he reforms into yet another blanket, flicking it across the bed with a casual flip of his wrist from across the room. It settles itself across the bed, corners matched, soft to the touch and smelling vaguely of the same mint from the bath. If he hadn't expressed an interest in sleeping without as much clothing Emet-Selch would have created a couple sets of sleep pants to try on; as it is, he adds it to the back of his mind to consider later. ]
And? You've preferences now when you did not previously. Tell me some of them. [ a pause, a sideways look from where he's hanging up tomorrow's clothes for easy access. ] A non-insignificant number of them seem to be around not wearing clothing.
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[ More pressing than their brewing debate is fleeing this reflection's relentless, biting cold. Viktor burrows beneath sheets, into blankets, pulling them up over his nose, and then decides that even that is not warm enough. He sits up, finds one of the lingering fire crystals tucked into the bed's corners, only glancingly warm now, and attempts to coax it back to life.
His body interferes halfway through pulling threads. Light insists upon stillness, and the dim red glow goes pearly white. Heat turns to nothing, radiant numbness. Viktor plucks the crystal from where it's tucked with a frown, oozing disappointment, and sets it beside his half-empty teacup, an incandescent beacon in the candlelit room. He glares at the thing until Emet-Selch's next line of questions grabs his attention anew. ]
You say it as though it is a b-bad thing. The unfortunate truth is, I am quite f-fond of you, Emet-Selch, and my preference for less clothing is tied up in th-that.
[ A pause, a pout, he allows himself to consider the question in earnest with a rush of air through his nose. ]
I like our- [ All the hairs of the back of Viktor's neck stand on end, jolted by mortification. ] -your bed in the Crystarium. 'Tis quite big. And soft. Ample room to s-sprawl, but I can still r-reach you. And... it s-smells like you. 'Tis always warm, familiar.
[ Finally Viktor reclines, head settling into a ludicrously soft pillow, attention fixed on Emet-Selch as he tidies his quarters. Easier to watch him dodder about than to think about his own desires, still. It is, he finds, almost painful to consider want too directly. Even something as simple as how he'd prefer to sleep makes his brain, his nerves, his whole body rebel. As though he is aught but scar tissue, stiff and aching when pushed too far. ]
I don't know. [ He pulls the covers up over his head 'til only the tips of his ears stick out. Silence settles for a few heavy seconds before he goes on. From beneath the blankets, surrounded by warmth, Viktor allows: ] I do not l-like when it is too dark. Candles, or ceruleum lanterns, or hearth fire. The light, the sound, the smell - they are a comfort. [ Another pause. Then, soft, quiet: ] These blankets smell n-nice.
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Did he take the trousers off Emet-Selch had magicked into place for him? Is it better or worse if he doesn't? The faint pang of disappointment at the thought feels a little like a betrayal of himself; hasn't he had enough at this point? But no. He doesn't think he has. Doesn't think he will ever hit a point of enough, doesn't think that point exists. ]
Our bed, is it.
[ At least he finds the overall process easier when Viktor is the one on the off foot. He takes the unintentional bait dangled before him and uses it, shameless, prowling over to the bed. The robe is slid off of his shoulders, tossed upon one of the chairs near the bed and Emet-Selch pauses at his side of the bed, considering the knowledge as well as the altered crystal. Another snap, less theatrical, like the effort is more out of habit than attempting to put on any sort of show. Across the room, candelabras melt into existence, pre-lit, casting the whole of the room into dim lighting. Not so much it would be difficult to sleep, but enough that they won't walk into a piece of furniture getting up in the middle of the night to relieve themselves.
He keeps his sleep pants on, after a beat of hesitation, parting the covers, gingerly sliding between them, settling on his back and then just as soon as he's settled, rolling onto his side to regard Viktor quietly, scooting into the no man's land between them that once used to be an unthinkable distance to cross. Gently, he hooks finger into the blankets tugged above Viktor's head, nudging them down to his chin and then just...doesn't remove his arm from where it's settled atop his chest, despite the chill his shoulders and arm are exposed to. He can feel Viktor's warmth, just ilms away if he chooses to close the distance and bask in it. ]
Do you require additional candles or are these sufficient?
[ Regardless of Viktor's answer, he draws fingers across the covers and the crystals flare with renewed warmth once again, the bed slowly warming around them. ]
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Would you find it tolerable? [ Viktor murmurs into the blankets settled over his face. It was Emet-Selch's bed first, after all. His quarters. His space, even if Viktor has become a persistent presence. Whatever they are, he is not so sure they have quite progressed to joint ownership of furniture -- something so wildly domestic as to be wholly alien, completely absurd. Thinking about it sends a wave of frission jolting up Viktor's back.
And then, a second later, the bed creaks from added weight. In seconds that tick by like stretched minutes, Emet-Selch settles, moves closer, and ilms the blankets down until Viktor's face is exposed to the cold. He opens his eyes, blinking at the new, low flickering light. Exactly what he'd asked for, not too bright, just enough to chase the dark away. Something like terror but not bubble up from low in Viktor's stomach. The feeling wraps around his lungs, squeezes, sets his heart to a galloping pace that surely, mortifyingly, Emet-Selch can feel beneath his palm.
Viktor swallows, shoring up the will to respond. ]
'Tis p-perfect.
[ He angles his head, trying to catch a glimpse at Emet-Selch lying behind him without moving too much, not wanting him to slip away. After a second, he slips a hand down to slide beneath the waistband of the linen trousers Emet-Selch had created for him. Viktor holds his breath, lifts his hips, and shoves the soft spun cloth down. Off his hips, past his thighs, until they're far enough down that he can wriggle the rest of the way out of them with a few kicks of his legs, leaving them hanging off the side of the bed.
Naked again, Viktor scoots back, closing the minute distance between them and pressing himself into the bend of Hades's body, hungry for his warmth, eager to be surrounded. He curls an arm around his pillow and shuts his eyes. ]
It is not too close, is it?
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No sense worrying about it now, but something to consider for later, maybe. For all the other evenings they'll share in the same space, a thought that doesn't cause nearly as much consternation as it once did.
The blankets rustle, Viktor squirming, wiggling about and Emet-Selch lifts his arm, scooting away a bit to give him space as he tries to parse out the movements beneath the blankets, and, ah. He'll wait for Viktor to ask again, once or twice on his end, regarding his own trousers. There's the sound of cloth hitting the floor on the opposite end of the bed; Emet-Selch bites back most of a sigh. ]
I just had my head tucked betwixt your thighs the better part of the evening, to say nothing of the rest of the night's activities.
[ They have, he thinks, passed far past the point of 'too close' several times over. Viktor squirms closer and Emet-Selch doesn't, for once, tense. He's too tired to, simply raising the sheet and blankets up a little so Viktor can curve his body back into Emet-Selch's own, and Emet-Selch gingerly fits himself close, presses his face into Viktor's curls and inhales a breath that shudders a little.
The warmth of Viktor's bare back presses against his chest, the scent of him already laid into the sheets. He wants - he wants. He's had Viktor, has him now and yet he wants further, greedy to the end. An arm drapes itself over Viktor's waist, tucking the covers in tighter around both of them until Viktor is, in fact, surrounded. Our bed, he thinks, and is pleasantly surprised when the consideration doesn't ache with old memories.
Sleepily, Emet-Selch asks the somewhat pedantic question rolling around in his brain, no longer precisely annunciated, but sleep-thick edges, the start of a yawn at the end. ] Is it just the bed?
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[ He cannot help but sass back, though when Emet-Selch closes an arm around his waist to draw him in, it rather dampens the desire to give him any trouble at all. A hum, low and pleased, rolls out of him as he feels his shoulder blades press to skin. Embraced wholly, every ilm of him cradled by warmth, his skin prickles where they've slotted together, matched pieces.
And in the next breath, in the heartbeat of silence that follows, doubt bubbles up in the hollow of his chest; his lot is to serve, not receive such decadence. He is undeserving, has been spoiled, and the star will take its due for this excess.
Viktor shuts his eyes more tightly, lights his fingers on the back of the palm draped over his stomach, and pushes back on that feeling. This is worth it, and it will not be taken from him so easily.
Hades asks a question, and Viktor remembers to breathe. The tension set into his muscles unwinds, and he echoes the yawn, unable to help himself. ]
Our... kitchen, maybe. [ He offers, low and thoughtful, welcoming the distraction from darker thoughts. ] Our cups and plates. Our hearth. Our window garden. Our bath. [ Each item he lists draws a bit more tension out of him, and he echoes Emet-Selch's yawn, unable to help himself. ] Your shoebill. But, our... [ He starts to drift toward dreaming, voice going quiet as he slips into unconsciousness. ] ...little sprouts.
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oh my god
EATS IT
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your bf just wants to turn himself into a quantum computer emet-selch nbd
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lmao for some reason it replied as a whole new top level??
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forgot the rest of the caps UGHHH
this is so long sobdhshhsh
FOOD FOR ME THO also sorry viktor you're dating a dick
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